File this one under “The nuttiest thing I’ve ever heard. Or at least in the Top 5”. It goes like this:
“Love is all about falling in love with yourself and sharing that love with someone who appreciates you, rather than looking for love to compensate for a self-love deficit.”
Everything is wrong with this statement, and yet it reflects the popular understanding and application of “love” in today’s highly secularized and anti-religious world. To love is to will the good of the other, as they are (St. Thomas Aquinas). It has nothing to do with whether you love yourself or how much you love yourself. To love is to will the good of others, whether they appreciate you or not, whether they love you back or not.
When we give love according to the measurement of loving ourselves (a love that is drawn inward), we aren’t giving love, we’re only lending out goodwill, with the expectation of a return on our investment. A loan, not a gift; our self-interests in mind, not the good of the other in mind. Where would any of us be if God or our parents loved us like that??
Self-love deficit? Get over it. Give love anyway. Not loved in return? Get over it. Give love anyway. Love well, my friends. Love well, and you’ll change the world.
